Conditionality

I subscribe to a daily parenting site that e-mails me, you guessed it, daily. I would say half the time I skim them but not today. Todays “thought” I had already been “thinking” about. Here’s todays daily:

The Big Lie
by Scott Noelle, posted on 2006-06-27
Do you have “control issues”?

The good news is that being a “controller” is a symptom of being intelligent, creative, and passionate… AND duped into believing the Big Lie of our culture: conditionality.

The Big Lie is that you can’t be happy or feel worthy except under the “right” conditions. If you’ve bought into it, then naturally you will use your personal strengths to try to control those conditions.

For example, if you believe your children have to behave a certain way in order for you to feel good (about them or about yourself), then of course you will try to control their behavior.

Once you realize the purpose of the Big Lie — to control you — you’ll stop believing it.

Practicing the Art of Un-conditionality dissolves the Big Lie (and the “need” to control conditions) by affirming the Ultimate Truth: that you have the power to focus your mind in ways that feel good… under any conditions.

Try it!

http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/big-lie

This article speaks to me not only on a parenting level but on other relationships as well. I have experienced those that would like to control me, my family or for me to control my children or my spouse. I’ve always had a problem with this. I don’t believe I or anyone of us should have to meet certain conditions to be accepted or befriended.

I myself can practice self-control and demonstrate that to those around me but do so because of my own desire to contribute to my community. Now the question is how do children get to that point without being controlled? The only thing that I can compare this to is my own experience with God, who I view as the ultimate parental figure. He in no way forced me to believe in Him or follow but I do so out of faith and love. If God can trust the process of un-conditionality than so can I because of His example.  Therefore, I will do my best to reflect this in my relationships with my family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Do Something

I changed up the format a little on the blog because I stumbled upon this website http://www.dosomething.org/.   I was looking for local community organizations to see what’s out there.  As a homeschooling family I really want to give our kids the opportunity to give back.  Although our children aren’t teenagers yet, I hope to get them involved .  This site is also a great resource too if only to spark ones creativity. 

When you go to the site you can pick what your thing is, who you want to be apart of it, where and how long it will take place.  After you submit it will come up with ideas for you.  Which is so helpful because all too often we can complicate things and not have a clue where to start.  There are links on how to get grants for your project, how to start a club, opportunities to volunteer, etc.  The best part is you can go solo or make it as big as you want to. 

My biggest reason for wanting to support a program like this one is I know we can have an effect on our communities.   I did volunteer as a teenager and it made me realize that I could make a difference, one person at a time.  It changed my thinking from me to we.  I hope that by supporting this organization “we” can be the change we hope for.

New Moon

By week’s end I will have procurred tickets to the premiere.   The End.

Yes, I am dragging the hubs to a midnight showing.

I may wear a cloak, sparkle powder and white makeup.

I may even find amber contacts for me and the hubs to wear.  Or maybe just the hubs.  *Wink*

If  I swoon and call hubbs Edward.  Sorry to hubs in advance.

3 things again

Three names I go by:
1. Misty
2. Mom
3. Babe (not like the pig though)

Three Jobs I have had in my life:–
1. Day care teacher
2. Photography assistant
3. Massage Therapist

Three Places I have lived:
1. Anchorage, AK
2. Graceville, FL
3. Keaau, HI

Three Favorite drinks:
1. Margaritta’s
2. Smoothies
3. Water with lemon

Three body parts I lurve:
1. Upper back/neck
2. Lips
3. Eyes

Three places I want to visit:
1. Italy
2. Austria
3. East Coast USA

Three favorite sounds:
1. Thunder
2. Laughter
3. Ocean
Three of my favorite foods:
1. Made for ME
2. Dark Chocolate and yes it’s a food, dern it.
3. Mexican ever-thing.

Three Things I am looking forward to:
1. The Parents moving here in August
2. Mission trip end of August
3. End of each day when Jesse comes home.

Three Favorite words:
1. Sparkle
2. Frack
3. Lava

Three things that are always nearby:
1. Dog Hair
2. Books
3. Shoes

Three things I want to do:
1. Paint more
2. Finish my degree in something?!
3. Cruise

Three things I love to do:
1. Garden
2. Read
3. Eat

25 random things revisited

25. I sometimes think the worst of things. The glass is half empty sort of thing. I’m working on this, accepting the things I can’t change…yadda, yadda, yadda..

24. I finished my experimental phase by the time I was 14. Smoking, drugs, etc. etc.

23. I loved being pregnant with every child we have and almost hated the day they would actually come out. I really loved it when they were born don’t get me wrong but there’s nothing like feeling life in you, growing and moving. I’m not into being eternally pregnant though.

22. I still throw up in my mouth a little when I have to pick up dog poop.

21. I love that my hubby is fuzzy.

20. I enjoy all things pampered chef and if I had my way my kitchen would be full of p.c.

19. Baking is one of my favorite things to do. There is nothing better than making your own bread by hand.

18. I use my hubbies razor, when I do shave. Chic razors suck.

17. REcently rediscovered the joys of bath and body works lotions. I smell pretty, oh so pretty…

16. I can’t stand a dirty kitchen. It must be clean before going to bed unless there is no dish soap, than what’s a girl to do?

15. I’m spoiled now that we have a dish washing machine. I used to wash them all by hand!

14. I have a slight fear of the ocean. You will not see me swim where I can’t walk or run if need be.

13. I learned how to snow board 5 years ago and really enjoy it.

12. Not interested in skiing though, I like to surf the mountain.

11. Just found 3-4 grey hairs in the last few months. Hope this means I’m getting wiser.

10. I want to live on a farm, for awhile.

9. I worked at a plant nursery for awhile. Nothing big, just watered plants. It was very peaceful.

8. I am a Certified Massage Therapist and enjoy the perks there of.

7. I try to be a greenie but need to find a more efficient way to save the earth. Jesse can’t stand it when I stack card board boxes ,egg cartons and plastic everywhere. He’s like just throw it away!

6. I have a passion for attachment, playful parenting, and try to practice unconditionality in all of my relationships.

5. God amazes me all the time through the unselfish acts of others.

4. Along with the gray hairs on my head I have found sporadic black hairs on my chin. eeww..

3. I had the chicken pox when I was 14 and still bare the scars from them, 16 years later.

2. I heart buffalo burgers. Yummy.

1. I have a pimple popping addiction. Its gotten better over the years.

Twilight

Late comer to Twi-crack series but on board as of last month.  I put in 6 hours of read time in last night/early morning on New Moon and can’t wait to get onto the next in the series, Eclipse.  Found a new site thanks to a fellow TWI-Head , here it is laurensbite.blogspot.com  and watched a bazilion trailers for New Moon.  Oh yeah, I will be at the theatres fo sho when the movie comes out.   Stephanie Meyer has made reading an official addiction and now I need a support group.  The kids are worried.

Support local business

I try to buy bulk when we can and boy do I get excited when I can get a really good deal on 50 lbs of wheat.  Not just any wheat but Montana wheat berries or grain.  It is the best!  Well, today I visited a store (which by the way carries Montana wheat) that I had been meaning to stop in for awhile and what a little treasure.  The business I speak of is called Wishful Kneads.  I love the name!  They are a locally owned business that not only sell bulk foods, grains and storage containers.  They host several baking and cooking classes twice a week, every month.  I felt like a giddy school girl walking around and talking with the owner.  As I was walking around I got kind of clumsy in my excitement and jabbed a shelf into my fore arm.  Ouch! 

The owner was so helpful and very freindly.  I am always encouraged when I have experiences like this with local business owners because I really want to give them and not large chains, my business.  The classes are really what I was interested in and so I picked up a schedule.  I asked if my daughter could join me and he said yes at no extra charge.  Awesome.  They have a whole kitchen setup with several grain mills on the counter, very cool.

It seem kind of funny to me that I was so excited about this store and all the gadgets but my focus has shifted from cute outfits to wholesome nutrition for my family.  If we had the money I surely would do both and I would so look like Martha Stewart or maybe a younger hippie version.  So I hope to take some classess soon.  Learn how to make my own artisan breads, summer rolls & buns, bagels, etc.  I’m not much on cooking but boy do I love baking good bread, oh and chocolate cake…mmm.  So if you ever find a place like this in your home town, take advangtage of it and tell everyone about it!

Opened can of worms

Due to the nature of blogging and opening up my life via cyberspace, there have been repercussions.  Not to me personally, everyone is great to me but not to the hubby.  It’s sad really.  I know that he is such a great person yet some will never know it due to their own judgements, fears and disconnection.  I’m apart of a few online groups that meet up, the kids play and moms hang out.  Both of which know of my man’s past indiscretions and have requested he not attend or be apart of the group get togethers.  What makes this worse is that one group decided to go through my brother and not talk to me personally.  This really doesn’t sit well with me.  I am one to have face time with.  I don’t mind conflict and would appreciate one on one conversations with someone who feels an issue with me or any one of my family members.  In an effort to be discreet this person or people have only made me feel more suspicious and walls creep up as we speak.  How can I trust anyone in the group if they don’t talk openly and honestly to my face.  I’m tired of everyone dancing around me like I’m going to break.  It hurts and this is what I have to deal with on a daily basis.  In all this I hope that others will get passed their fears.  Life is about risk and none of knows completely what those closest to us are capable of.  We all have this false sense of security that we cling so desparately to.   Bleh…Dude, the hubby has no desire to be apart of these groups anyway but it totally took the wind out of my sails.   Not to sure what to do about it though.  Just fighting being dragged down by it I guess.  People are human, filled with faults and my human hubby has his dirty laundry hanging out for all to see.  This is the type of intro I’d like whenever I meet someone new.  “Hi I’m a liar, thief and murderer.”  Oh good, I’m glad we got that out of the way.  Or “I’m a glutton”.  I’m just ranting now.  I hate it that his junk is out there for all the world to see, yet no one else’s life is as transparent.  I want to know everyone’s junk, man and then I want to look them in the eyes, show God’s mercy and say, “It’s ok, I still love you and want to be apart of your life”.

Ode to hubby

I know my husband rocks.

 He can do anything he puts his mind to,

A walking atlas/dictionary/encyclopedia is he.

Cooks really good, need I say more?

He is my biggest encourager/supporter/fan.

Never once put me down, I can see in his eyes that he adores me.

He laughs at my jokes and I laugh at his.

Forgiving, gentle, kind, and always growing.

This is my beloved and He is mine.

Inspired by http://muchmorethanmommy.wordpress.com/   Valentines  giveaway.