Liar..liar MOM!

Come on kids!  We gotta go!  Silas has a dentist appointment and were walking there, so lets go, go, go!  Mom, I don’t want to go to the dentist!  Silas all they are going to do this time is put a spacer in your mouth.  Why?  So when the new tooth grows in it will have room to come in.   Why?  Denali-Mom just told you, to make room for your other tooth to grow in! OK, thanks Denali.  So your just gonna be in and out.  Its gonna be quick.  No numbing gel? No.  No shots? No.  Jaeden get your shoes on!  I don’t want to go.  What?!  This is not an option, lets go.  Mommy I want to stay here and watch Shark boy and Lava girl!  We can watch the rest when we get back OK?  No.  Come here you.  Here’s your shoes..shove, shove and you need to listen to mommy or no movie when we get back. Whimper…OK mommy. 

Mom, come on, were ready!  OK, I was just helping Jaeden, lets go.  Walking through the neighborhood, avoiding cars, we arrive at the dentist.  Hi, where here for Silas’s appointment.  Oh, good we finished up early.  Silas, come on back.  OK, Jaeden and Denali we can read a book while Silas gets’ his spacer put in.  Denali-I can’t find the tooth fairy book we were reading last time.  OK, well find another book.  Jaeden-Can I ride my scooter?  Where?  Outside, not around cars.  I won’t get ran over.  No.  We will be gone soon and you can ride your scooter then.  Denali-Here read this.  OK.  The Real Tooth Fairy.  Oh good you found another tooth fairy book.  “Elise was listening to the story when one of her teeth fell out.  This was her first tooth that she had lost and she could hardly wait until the story was over to share her news.  The teacher finished the story and told everyone to get ready for recess.  Elise showed all her friends her tooth.  Wow , Elise, now you get to put it under your pillow and the tooth fairy will come.”  Excuse me.  Yes.  Silas has another abscess.

WHAT!?  Really?  OMG!  Come with me and I will show you.  O K.  See right there, its on the opposite side of the first one.  Oh, baby, I’m sorry.  I had no idea.  Mommy, I don’t want a abscess.  I know.  Is this why you didn’t want to come?  Was it hurting?  Yeah.  Well the dentist is going to have to take it out to help you.  Nooo!  Do you remember when he took out the other one and how good you felt after wards?  Yeah.  Dentist-Were going to prep for removal, get the numbing gel, blah, blah ,blah…He’s gonna do the same thing like last time.  Here, Silas put the nose mask on and breathe through your nose.  OK.  Denali can you get the book and we will read with Silas?  Ok mom.  Silas were going to take another picture of your tooth.  Open up.  OK.  Beep.  Good job.  What’s that?  Its the numbing gel.  I hate numbing gel!  Noo.  It’s OK honey.  I’m gonna go and sit with Denali and Jaeden.  Assistant-OK, I thinks that’s a good Idea.  Is there a way to avoid getting abscess teeth?  Assistant at the front desk-Sometimes the cavity that is filled is so deep like the 2 he had, they were so close to the nerve it becomes a infection at any time or not.  There’s not really any way to know.  I feel so bad.  I saw his mouth last night and this morning I didn’t.  It just appeared like last time.  Assistant-Were not judging you.  I just feel so bad.  Maybe this will help him learn the importance of brushing even more so.  Maybe.

Screams are faintly heard from the room and a couple minutes later Silas appears from the room.  Small tears at each corner, hand full of toy bugs and a small treasure chest with his tooth in it.  Hey, buddy.  I’m sorry you had to do that again.  I didn’t know.  OK mom.  Can we go.  Yeah.  Let me make the appointment for your other spacer and we will go.  OK.

Poor guy, he is definitely gonna have trust issues now if he didn’t already prior.  I keep telling him information based upon what I know and the unknown always happens with him.  The thing is he had a  x-ray a week prior and the abscess wasn’t there and it just appeared that day!  Silas, were just going to the doctor for physicals, no shots.  He got 4!  Silas were just going for a cleaning, no shots.  He has a tooth pulled.  Silas its just a spacer, no shots or numbing gel.  He has another tooth removed! 

I am just unknowingly lying to my child and his life is filled with fear already of doctors and dentists!  There’s just nothing I seem to say or do to the contrary!  Does anyone else get caught in this situation?

This is the video I showed him prior to his first tooth removal.  Could this have scared him enough not to tell me the second go round?

Unfortunate “perks” of parenthood

I have a confession to make.  I am a mother and I have neglected to brush my children’s teeth regularly!  I really just want them to pass out at night because I’m SO tired and then feel guilty when they haven’t brushed their teeth!  It doesn’t help when the husband says, “Oh, its OK just let them go to sleep.”  To which I reply, “Their teeth are going to rot out of their heads if they don’t and who’s fault will it be?  Ours!”  Our oldest has caps on all of her baby molars, and the other 2 just recently got fillings.  I feel horrible!  We have gone back and forth on being consistent too many times.  I have finally resolved to make a point of it and hope for progress.  I think this responsibility will just have to be mine while the husband has been working SO hard.

So this week my middle child starts complaining about his mouth hurting.  I take a peek and see some slight redness and swelling.  We did just change our toothbrushes and started regulating mandating bedtime brushing.  I thought maybe he had brushed to hard and he even confessed to pushing to hard on his teeth while brushing.  So I go out and get some golden seal to use for a mouth wash and help with the swelling as well as some vitamin c with biflavanoids for gum health.  He accepted the tablet no problem.  Popped it right in his mouth and washed it down with some water.  Next,  the golden seal. I explain gently and even swish some around in my mouth to encourage him.  All the while trying not to let on how completely horrible it tastes.  “Mm-mm…”  He reluctantly complies while he makes nasty faces, sticking his tongue out, gagging noises and manages to do a few swishes here and there.  Then come the putrid looks and why do I have to do this inquisitions.  How to explain to a 6 year old how these things help us.  Hm…Go with simple here.  Clearing my throat I reply, “Ah hem, this will help the swelling go down and this is good for your gums.”  OK?

Time elapses all of 30 minutes and he is still complaining.  I take another look and “WHOA, what’s that?  I mean um, suck on some ice honey and I’m going to call the dentist.”  As calmly as I can I make the call, all the while listening to my boy bemoaning about how much he dislikes the dentist and thinks he’s going to die.  I explain what I’m seeing and the receptionist puts me on hold twice and I get to talk to the dentist the second time.  Pretty much I have to make him comfortable and  I had made this discovery too late in the day to get him in.  We had to wait until the next morning.  I thought, “Great, we get to wake up at 2am again!”  Why didn’t I just call the dentist in the first place you say?  Whats wrong with me?  I was trying to implement more natural methods, avoid pain killers and really avoid doctors altogether.  Seeing as I have never experienced an abscess before, this was all newly uncharted waters and I had put us there indirectly or directly.  Now I know heredity and nutrition have a lot to do with oral health.  I shouldn’t be so hard on myself for not preventing something that may have or not been avoidable but I just feel so bad and wish it was me instead of him.  He’s so sensitive anyway and it seems he’s the one who experiences the most horrid things! 

Lets start from birth shall we?  Not that being born isn’t traumatic enough.  I decided to schedule his birth and have pitocin.  So he’s forced out of his warm cozy surroundings and the next day he is circumcised. I’m pretty sure that is in his suppressed memory somewhere.  Next gravity decides to give him a few black eyes.  How cruel it is to go from crawling to walking and then bear the marks.  In between then and now he’s had minor scrapes and accidents.  The most major was when he fell  out of a dog house, propped on end by his sister and smacking his nose so hard I thought it was broken.  That was a long emergency room ordeal I care not to repeat!  I remember taking him to his initial doctors visit upon moving to Hawaii and reassuring him that he was just going in to meet the doctor.  No shots this go round.  That’s what the receptionist said.  WRONG!  Not only did he get shots, they gave him 4! So not only do I put my child in seemingly powerless positions I often lie to him!  Unintentionally, of course but this really affects a trusting relationship with my kiddo!

The almost broken nose

 

Before we go to the dentist office I try to reassure him and tell him I am going to be with him.  This child is so full of fear and nothing I am doing or saying seems to help.  He really does not want his tooth pulled.  We get there without any problems until he is put in the chair.  He is not doing this willingly so I sit with him.  I should say under him.  Sigh..I am trying to keep it together as it becomes fact, after the x-ray confirms, that the tooth will indeed be extracted.  So here I am, again, putting him in a powerless state.  As they prep him with numbing gel, Novocaine, and poke him with the needle I again feel a pit in my stomach.  My poor child.  Why couldn’t it be me in the chair?  He doesn’t deserve pain but alas this is the world we live in.  Here’s what it looked like, except his was on his left top primary molar:

Illustration copyright 2003, 2005 Nucleus Communications, Inc. All rights reserved. www.nucleusinc.com

An abscessed tooth is a tooth that has a pocket of pus in the tissue next to it. This often occurs because the inside (pulp) of a tooth is infected and the bacteria spreads to the tissue underneath the tooth. An abscess usually causes throbbing pain in the tooth and red, swollen gums.

http://www.revolutionhealth.com/articles/abscessed-tooth/zm2577

I managed to get him to sit in the chair while I sat at his feet, so the dentist could have better access.  Now this isn’t a pediatric dentist and my first experience in this office.  He was slightly gruff but I don’t think any more than usual given the circumstances.  I mean we were holding down feet, arms and head to get his tooth out.  How delicate could you possibly be in this situation?  He screamed, screamed, screamed and didn’t stop till I don’t know how long after we got home.  I just let him have it out.  I really don’t blame him and refused to be flabergasted at his shrills.  He now insists that I brush his teeth, every time, all the time.  So there is some good out of this.  The “bad” tooth is gone, he’s more willing to brush his teeth and I am determined to do what ever it takes to prevent this from happening again but realize my power is limited in this regard.

In my quest to find pictures online of an abscess I came across this site.  It has no pics of an abscess tooth but is very gross and strangley compelling.

http://www.entusa.com/oral_photos.htm